UNEMPLOYED - THE NEW AMERICA
For the first time ever my
job was eliminated. There is a saying “be
careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” It could not have
happened any better if I had planned it.
I was a reliable employee, my work exemplary. I wasn’t happy with my job situation but I
tried to make the best of the day. The
harder I tried the worse it got. When I first started I loved it there. It was
my home, however the harder I tried the more my supervisor bullied me. I was so
unhappy, and needed to turn it around. So one day, I just gave up. I smiled
more, I did only what I could, I laughed more I relaxed and my inner light felt
so warm to me. I was sparkling.
Then it happened. I called
in one day, I did not feel well and my Administrator called me. My job was being
eliminated. I felt wonderful. I was told I was also getting a severance pay
coming with my pink slip. I started to smile and laugh and thought, “Am I
dreaming?”
I know what you are thinking
right now. “What are you going to do now, you don’t have a job.” First cut that chain. That should be anyone’s last thought. I
started to dance to Lady Gaga. I opened a bottle of wine. I smoked a joint! Life
had other plans for me and I could not wait to explore them.
Before I go any further let
me explain this job circumstance to you. I worked at this place for over ten
years and I gave it 100 percent. I worked not only hard but smart. The
Administrator decided to send me to graduate college; my supervisor had a
problem with me. She didn’t like me and kept a file on me that I found
completely by accident. I had to go into her file to get something and saw my
name on a file and picked it up. She had
all my draft papers that I had type up for all my other managers. They were
drafts that I would type and give back for
changes and then redo. It was never a problem; there were always changes. She
kept them and used them as examples to show the Administrator. All I could think about is that she wanted to
make me look bad it worked. Especially
when it came to my reviews with my Administrator. Then it happened. The budget
couldn’t afford my graduate college.
And here is where is gets even
better. She would ask me to help her with projects and about software programs.
She would have me set up an Excel sheet for her. She didn’t even know how. Then
she would take credit for it. She would
take a class on a new software program she wouldn’t even use so she could show
me and she wasn’t using it, I was the one using it. I couldn’t take the class
because… I don’t know why.
She would pull me aside and
tell me I was too friendly to people when I was handing out checks. I was just
saying. “Hello, how are you? How was your week? Have a great day!” She said it was interrupting her work, she
couldn’t concentrate. I would just start
laughing at her, I knew I shouldn’t but I just was so like, “Seriously?”
The day of true remembrance came
when she took my spot. I had a nice area where I sat in the office. When I was
first hired, there really was no desk. I made spot for myself. I asked the
Administrator if I could use the desk in the corner and I had the maintenance
crew turn in around and I made it into an area. After a couple of years I made
it into a “home” One day the little
bitch came up to me and told me that we were switching spots. Then within about four years, I was completely
out of the main office and located to a place called “center count.” It was pretty much downhill from there. I did keep my stapler.
She left me notes all the
time too. In red ink. I took them to the beach and read them to my friend. What a hoot.
It was a perfect time for me
to be out of work. I was deeply needed in other places. I would not have been able to be there if I
was working. It was a gift that the universe gave to me to offer my support to
my little hood. I was going to be
getting me some good karma.
I had been searching for a job
since mine was eliminated and the market was not like the eighties but I
continue. I had interviews that went swimmingly and some that were story
telling. I have over 200 on an Excel sheet alone and in my folders email I have
over 750 resumes that I sent out in the past three years.
I did get a new job and was
very happy with it. Of course I am sure there was a few that thought I was a
bit odd, but I didn’t care. Most of my friends would say I am a bit of an odd
duck anyways. The job was a bit of a ride, so I have decided to listen
to some tapes. Deepak Chopra was my first journey and a friend of mine
suggested Mike Dooley and some books on tape. They helped me so much that I forgot all about my ten years at my last job
and I started making new friends. I had a new desk by a window and lots of responsibility.
After one and a half years the company called me to HR along with 65 other lovely people and laid
us off. I was blindsided. I was calm and
left with dignity. I told my boss, not to worry. I loved the place but
obviously the Universe had other plans for me. The good news is I could
collect for about eight months as long as I looked for work.
I have been looking for work because I do like spending
money. I have applied at a few places. I found another job at a place in a few
weeks and the money was great but I did not like the building. My desk
was located in an area with absolutely no sunlight, flood problems, and
constant noise. I was hired as an Office
Coordinator, however I was doing Accounting which including daily, weekly and
monthly figures for projected hours. It
was tortuous which sucked because it was a great place and the people were awesome. I gave them a long notice and
left and started putting out good vibes and lots of resumes and trusting in the
Universe. I had always been lucky in finding work so hopefully soon I would
find another one soon. Full or part time - anything.
Well now it was over a year, I had a few good interviews but none was a good fit. I had to let it go, and just not worry. It has been difficult to do this but was so stressful to
worry and it was amazing how much money I didn’t need. I did a budget down to the penny and I was
amazed at how much money I could not spend. I just needed to control myself.
My husband is retired and for some reason he does not
seem to mind that I am not working. After spending a good couple of months
doing nothing, watching TV, playing on the net, I was going brain dead. Now I ready to continue with my
writing and I can honestly say that this makes me feel so much happier than I
have ever been.
I recently had an interview at the library for a position
at my town hall. They had 26 applicants. Needless to say, I did not get the job. I got
a beautiful letter stating that “While you were not chosen for the position,
the decision to select another candidate was a difficult one. The Hiring
Committee was very impressed with both your qualifications and your enthusiasm
for the position. Based on your credentials and your interview, we strongly
encourage you to apply for future vacancies in the Town __________.” Well readers, I have now applied to about 400
places and went on line and applied to unemployment.
I hope I will get some post from my readers, a connection that will open up conversations
to talk about how your jobs have taken control of their lives and how they
found a way to handle it. Meditation,
reading, writing, etc. How did you
handle getting let go from your job more than once? Do you feel that not
getting hired was because of that? Or more of an age issue? Do you feel you were bullied at work and what
came out of it?
Last summer I heard a bird a
beautiful summer day and the air was so still, the temperature was perfect and
I felt like this bird was calling me to find it. I didn’t want to scare it and
was curious as to what kind it was.
I tiptoed around my house
and looked out each window following the song and found on the maple tree a
lovely male Cardinal. The symbol of faith, importance and vitality; I read that
these sightings are symbolic of the circle of life and to reminds us to “keep
the faith” through circumstances might look bleak, dark and hopeless. I also
read that a cardinal’s song is symbolic saying “may we give up our vanity, may we give up our forms, may we never give up our paths” “LBS”
I feel very happy about
my decisions and know that they will help me make the grandest choices in my
future. What those choices shall be, I
won’t know until I get there. I want to congratulate the younger population
reading this, understanding this and traveling it already. You are about to
embarked on a wonderful journey. You may not realized it at this moment, and it
could take years to. In another place,
reading, sign, moment. It will be when you are ready. Only when you are ready.
I so love this moment in
my life and enjoy the people who are in it with me. May I encourage anyone
going through this wonderful, yet maybe painful time, to put out your energy
and connect with one another. I wish I could wave a magic wand and do it for
you. The work is up to you. I can give you advice only. Be open, truthful,
honest and vulnerable. When you do this, the connection will join you to
another connection.
This connection has no
rules. It is not a love connection but more like a path connection. It takes or
catches what you are thinking and gives you power, which you give back by
recognizing it. When it happens, it is up to us to keep passing it. Then it becomes stronger.
“Some
human beings may be hurt in this verbiage”
No comments:
Post a Comment